Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Anger. Management. Part 2

I hate Thursdays.

Prior to taking this job Thursday used to be pretty awesome. It's the day before Friday. The best tv shows come on. The first football game of the week is on. My paystub is available online. It used to be pretty sweet. Over the past few weeks, if only for 5 minutes, I have come to hate Thursdays with an unbridled passion. Why? Two words:

Recognition Thursdays.

The Regime has decided to boost morale by taking a moment every Thursday to recognize people who have exceeded certain metrics such as good customer surveys, sales or first-call resolution. This wouldn't normally be a bad thing. It's how they do it that grinds my gears.

Someone from management goes out to buy green balloons and candy. Herein lies problem #1. My work computer still has a floppy disk drive and just got updated to Windows 7 A WEEK AGO...but ya'll got money to buy green balloons and candy??

Next comes the cart. On that cart is a stereo. That stereo plays one song and one song only. "Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger" by Daft Punk. What's worse is they never let the song play in it's entirety. They go from group to group, starting the first 2 minutes of the song over and over and over and over. The first 30 seconds sound like a cheaply made kids toy and they repeat it over and over and over....the worst is yet to come.

As I've mentioned in the previous post I am a customer service rep in a call center. Out of every 100 calls about 99.999 and nine tenths of those calls are escalations: people who are pissed. My shift starts just before the lunch hour so I'm either dealing with people who called on said lunch hour to handle business only to be put on hold for 25 minutes, people who had morning service visits that no one showed up for or people who missed the 12pm payment extension deadline and their cable is cut off.

So imagine the sheer delight I feel when I've finally gotten the customer calmed down to have them hear in the background some one screaming "IT'S RECOGNITION THURSDAY WOOOO!! DON'T LET IT (the candy) GO TO YOUR HIPS!!!" over a rave soundtrack. If I'm lucky the customer will say "It sure is noisy where you are!". What I'm most often met with is some variation of "I BEEN ON HOLD FOR 45 F***ING MINUTES AND YOU GUYS ARE HAVING A F***ING PARTY??" All the while management is continuing to yell and scream inches away from the live mic on my headset. You send an email about the most asinine things but THIS can't be done in an email??? You can scream in an email!! It's called CAPS LOCK!!!

Guess. What. Day. It. Is.

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