Tuesday, April 18, 2017

The return of the former twenty-something.

We need to talk.

Or rather I need to talk. As I've said in a previous post (almost two years ago) I suck at blogging. I don't mean to suck by any means. It doesn't mean I haven't had anything thing to talk about. The original focus of my blog was about my journey through learning about financial literacy. The problem is, with my line of work, I'm not really allowed to talk about it...to a point. The crux is that I cannot say anything that could be misconstrued as an endorsement or advice. Add to the fact that I was trying to monetize through book reviews and sales and the like and you can see how easily the line can be blurred. I essentially got lost in the mire of picking and choosing the topics I could talk about. After that the following year was emotional to say the least. I'll touch on that in a later post.

So what am I doing here now after all this time?

Like I said, I need to talk. I need self-care, now more than ever. Even among the people that I consider to be my friends I feel like no one really "gets" me. It gives me a lot of undue social anxieties. I've found that I spend a lot of time alone because of this. I'm trying to force myself into more social situations and I'm actually doing better...but I'm cognizant of the fact that I'm not always living as the best version of myself. There are things I want that are just outside of my grasp because I get so overcome by feelings of self-doubt, judgement and perceived expectations which may not even actually be happening outside of my own head. Getting these things out of my head along with the aforementioned anxiety issues is the explicit reason why I'm choosing write. Rather than restricting myself to a singular focus and putting myself on a self-imposed timeline I'm just going to say what I need to say when I need to say it. I may or may not announce this on facebook. I doubt anyone will come here to read it. Damn sure didn't read it the first go-around. But that really doesn't matter anymore. This is my safespace from here on until I put this down again.